From the Artist: "This monochrome painting is of Dylan Thomas, one of my favourite poets, who died at the age of 39. I have painted from a photograph which is not very clear. The work is in progress and I was hoping you might give me some pointers as this is only my second portrait. I feel comfortable about the light colours around the face which are angular and give the expression of someone talking animatedly. In fact, the best thing I like about the pose is the challenge of painting someone in the action of talking. The eyes pop out a bit but I feel that may also animate the speaker. I like the hand as a dramatic gesture but it is really too small, enlarging it may cause it to distract the viewer from the face. I am not happy with the jaw as it looks it has been filleted or Dylan has lost all his teeth!"
From the Painting Guide: I think that you've got the beginnings of a lovely portrait here, but have to agree that something's gone awry with the lips: they protrude beyond the cigarette to almost the end of his nose. Because his lips aren't straining or curved to hold the cigarette, it doesn't look like he's talking to me. More that he's raised his finger to interrupt someone to make a point. I don't feel the eye bulges, but that it needs a bit more shadow, both beneath the eye and the eyebrow, around towards the nose. (And maybe some wrinkles.)
Things to consider:
- Proportion of hand: The hand is too small in proportion to the face and the thumb too large in proportion to the rest of the hand (the knuckle to the hand is too long). Hands are surprisingly big – easily from the jaw to halfway up the forehead. It's this disproportion which catches the eye; if the hand was in correction proportion to the face, it won't draw so much attention to itself. The indent of the palm before the first finger looks strange. Rather than trying to paint the hand from the photo, use your own hand as a model.
- Proportion of head: Check the proportion of the skull behind the ears compared to the front of the face. If there's the as much hair on the back of this figure's head as there is at top, the back of the head isn't wide enough.